
Imagine a little scene for me, if you will. You’re sitting there, in the living room of your apartment. You pop a copy of “Schindler’s Fist” in your dvd player, hoping to get your shwerve on. You start to do that sinful thing that one does while watching pornography, when suddenly, your door busts open and a man waving a sword runs in, accusing you of rape.
Talk about embarrassing. It would be bad enough for the guy to break into your house brandishing a weapon, but to do so when you’re dick-deep in onanistic activities? I doubt I’d ever be able to get an erection again! Shit, it was traumatic enough when I almost got caught by my mom. And she doesn’t even own a sword!

Hey, home town boy makes good! I grew up in Waukesha. But never went to Oconomowoc much - above my social stratum. It’s good to know that there are still guys out there who care about women, even if a little slow. Tho I was brought up to keep my sword in my pants and not flash it around.
Yeah, it’s a good thing the guy promptly put a gag on his victim’s mouth, pulled Oliver Twist from his bookshelf triggering the secret passageway, and tossed her into his raping parlor. “Blame it on porn” That’s what I always say.