I am done with Dave Chappelle. Don’t get me wrong, I still love everything he has done in the past and I’m sure I will continue to enjoy repeated viewings of Half Baked and old Chappelle’s Show episodes for years to come. But after watching him on Oprah today, I decided I don’t give a shit if he continues with the show and I could care less if he makes another movie.
First off, I would like to point out that Dave conveniently enough decided to explain himself after almost an ENTIRE YEAR out of the public eye, right at the beginning of a sweeps month. For those of you that don’t know, sweeps months (every February, May, September, and November) are those special times of the year when TV show ratings are heavily collected and all of the networks pull out all of their “very special episodes”, “special guest stars” and big story lines. I love the sweeps months because you always get new episodes of every show. If you weren’t aware of this phenomenon, pay attention…you’ll know when sweeps is over when your favorite shows begin airing repeats again.
So…how is that for timing on Dave’s part? I’m sure Oprah (or any number of other outlets) would have had him on at any time throughout this past year. It just so happens that he needs to get this shit off his chest during a sweeps month. What a HUGE get for Oprah. But you might be thinking, sure this benefits Oprah, but what does Dave get out of it? Well, if you watched the episode you probably noticed a big plug for Dave’s upcoming movie entitled “Dave Chappelle’s Block Party”. Hmmmm…interesting. So guess what? The fucking movie is coming out in less than a month! What amazing timing for all of this to happen.
Now on to the things he said that pissed me off.
During the show Oprah asked about his longtime friend and writing partner Neal Brennan. In case you don’t know, Dave and Neal have been friends for 15 years and Neal co-wrote Half Baked with Dave back in the day and Neal is also the co-creator and co-writer of Chappelle’s Show. So Dave tells Oprah that he doesn’t think that Neal cares about him and he was pissed off at Neal because when Dave was becoming disenchanted with doing the show, Neal told Dave he was losing it. Dave also claims that Neal never called him after he fled to Africa. Dave goes on to say that “maybe it’s cultural, but when my friends are in trouble I call them up”. “Maybe it’s cultural”? What does that mean? Is it because Neal is white? Well if you call people that you care about then why did you leave for Africa without even bothering to tell your wife? Dave said in the interview that he took off to Africa without saying goodbye or telling anyone except his brother. He then had his brother call and inform the other members of his family that he left for Africa. What? Am I missing something? He claims that he couldn’t tell people because they were questioning his sanity at the time. I guess that means that his wife was among those questioning his sanity. Maybe Neal, like his wife, was concerned about him and had a hard time dealing with things.
So Dave’s excuses for leaving pissed me off too. Basically he didn’t like doing the show anymore. He didn’t feel like going in and the people at Comedy Central were trying change the show. That’s it? That’s all you got?
During the interview, Dave also goes into this weird thing about how all the black men in hollywood are forced to wear a dress during some point in their career. He admits to being kind of a conspiracy theorist but it seems like from what he said that he thinks that all the white people in Hollywood are trying to get black actors into dresses to demean them. Huh? That’s funny, I can think of a shit load more white guys who have worn dresses for movies than black ones. And in fact, the black dudes that I can think of off the top of my head that have worn dresses in movies are Keenan and Shawn Wayans, who dressed up as chicks in a movie THEY WROTE and Martin Lawrence who did it for a movie that I believe was written by a black guy!
Maybe Dave is crazy (and if he is, then I take back the “suck a dick” thing. He didn’t really make much sense overall. His excuse for abandoning his show (and his family) is stress? Man, lucky for him he has the means to just run off and go on vacation because he thought “if I feel so bad, why do I keep showing up to this place?”. Most people don’t like going to work, they feel awful every day and they keep going. Not Dave. He just abandons every single person who he has a responsibility to. All of those people that worked on his show (the peons) don’t have big bucks like Dave, they need to work. What about them? Did he think about them when he left? Seriously, if stress and feeling awful at his job is his excuse, then he is just an insanely immature and selfish individual.
Dave says that he “doesn’t want the money” he just wants to do his show. He said that he might go back and finish his show if some of the money from his deal could go to deserving people. Nobody forced Dave to take the $50 million deal in the first place. If he felt that that was too much, he should not have accepted it. AND if he wants some of that money to go to deserving people, then what the fuck stopped him from dolling out the money himself?
Suck it Dave…just suck it.
15 Responses to “Dave Chappelle can suck a dick”
- 1 Pingback on Feb 6th, 2006 at 6:27 pm
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Wow, the first true piece of literature I’ve seen posted on Monkeypup!
Seriously I didn’t see the show, though I’m downloading it right now. If it’s anything like what you describe then I’m sure I’m just setting myself up for disappointment, and for being pissed off.
You bring up a good point about his feeling stressed. The vast majority of hard working Americans don’t make $50 million dollars for doing fluff work. They have it a great deal harder than he ever did. Yet they pull themselves up out of bed every morning, kiss their wives or husbands goodbye, and shuffle off to a job they hate that barley pays enough to pay the bills. And he’s complaining?
And what the hell is up with that black men in dresses shit? What the hell has been going through his mind, or being taught to him while in Africa? That’s the best he could come up with as an example of the black man being repressed in Hollywood? That black men are forced to wear dresses?
Really, if that’s the best you can come up with, then there really isn’t a problem.
Kinda makes me wonder if it’s true that crazy people don’t know they’re crazy. Cause Dave is off his fucking rocker! And he doesn’t seem to know it. His wife and friends knew it, but he is blissfully ignorant.
Damn right, Sean. Most people are stressed and hate their job and coworkers, but they go to work anyway. To jobs that are less attractive and pay a lot less than Dave’s job.
‘Paloo - great article.
When actors/athletes/[Insert any idolized multimillionarie here] flakes out and decides they need a ‘break’ and disappears into the proverbial wilderness for a while, more often then not they also make themselves obsolete in a way.
A timeline if you will…
1.) Famous Person Flakes Out…
2.) Famous person, under much duress from flaking out, consults ‘Magic 8-ball’ for advice (because Miss Cleo isn’t around any more.)
3.) ‘Magic 8-ball’, in a bad mood itself, decides to give Famous Person faulty advice and suggests, “Seek you spiritual wilderness, young grasshopper! The true answer lies there…
4.) Famous Person Disappears…
5.) Fans of Famous Person might go through an initial stage of concern. Perhaps even bad-mouth those that might have done harm (via rumors) to the famous person.
5a.) Fans find out famous person just flaked out and went on some stupid trip. Anger changes direction…
6.) Eventual bad karma strikes former famous person in the head (via an Acme Anvil) and famous person realizes that they miss being famous.
7.) former-famous person tries to make a comeback. Fan base already moved on to other forms of entertainment (like visiting monkeypup.org). Potential new fans think former-famous person sucks.
8.) former famous person, now out of money (spiritual wildernesses cost lots o money. And the secret security stash was lost via the memory lost incurred during Karma’s Anvil), joins some forth-rate reality show entitled, “Dumbass for Donuts”.
8a.) Former famous person gets voted off the first week!
9.) former famous person (for the rest of the timeline, will now be referred to as loser) lives in gutter for a while. Eventually finds a half-used heroin syringe. Figures, what the hell.
9a.) Bad Karma’s laughs when she finds out where she misplaced her heroin syringe.
11.) Loser tries to sell their body for sex. Only one person was interested, that person never heard of loser, and would only be willing to pay what was under the sofa cushions. (in this case, a button, 3 dust bunnies, and 37 cents.) The payer later thinks he/she paid too much!
12.) A filler story is run for a famous-person magazine about how loser went into the ‘wilderness’ all those years ago. Because article was done by an intern and the intern didn’t have enough time to do more research…didn’t realize loser tried to come back. It didn’t matter, no body read the article anyway…save someone sitting on a sofa (that use to has a button, 3 dust bunnies and 37 cents under the cushions) somewhere. “Damn! I use to like watching that famous person…the wilderness must be a nice place” thinks the sofa-sitter.
13.) Loser finally is enlightened by what the term “faded into oblivion” means…no wait, that is just the half-used bad heroin talking…
This is bullsh–.
You were never a Dave fan.
Lee
Hey, Lee, it’s okay, you can swear here. For example. You are a stupid motherfucker. See? It’s okay.
Actually pup, I think he was referring to me!
The swine-lovin’ bastard!
No Mage, he’s talking to me…just look at the michelle rodriguez comments.
He was high on oprah and she didnt give him shit about lying about it like she did that other guy
she asked him are you on drugs and he said no and he was stoned out of his head.Idont care that he was stoned it just pissed me off that oprah has such double standards
I actually meant you paloo…
Sorry for the mistake.
Why leave the continent and not tell your wife and kid? Cuz fuck ‘em, that’s why!
You renegged on $50million contract and don’t need to take shit from anybody!
good fucking lord, when you are done swallowing the load of uniformed viewing take a step back and consider what he was saying.
You are really upset because he said “i don’t know maybe it is cultural”? Are you joking? you don’t think that it is possible for someone who is black to wonder whether white people as a general statement tend to more distant and removed with one another than black people? His friend didn’t call him for a year, and you think it is beyond the pale that he might suggest a reason that he doesn’t know about? christ, don’t write, you are only leaving digital traces of stupidity for folks to stumble onto.
the rest of what you said is not worth going into.
maybe watch some david lynch. i don’t know.
Had the situation between the two people been reversed, I would have been equally as upset that that comment had been made.
I would be upset with ANYBODY who reduced a personal situation with someone that they had been friends with for 15 years, into a race issue. That IS offensive to me.